The 4 Choice Questions

by Helen Denney-Stone on 2 October, 2011

Day 17  & 18 of my Life Choice Challenge – The weekend all going well but definitely feeling unmotivated sticking to the regime but it is becoming a struggle.

However my current struggle makes me think back and remember, firstly our logo at B Inspired 2 and what it stands for –  it is The Life Choice Tree – this tree gives you choices.

Also I was thinking about The Choice Questions which everyone one should ask yourself before the beginning of any challenge.

The Choice Questions is a powerful way to look at a habit, lifestyle or behaviour and see how we can change it to what we want – ultimately giving us the desired choice. This is as I said a very powerful way to analysis How we change something and give us the emotional energy to propel ourselves forward. It involves 4 Easy questions and I would like to share these with you here.

Question One – Ask “What is the something that I wish to change” – the something I know I should or want to do that I am not doing now?  –  For me in this case it was that I wanted a healthier life style and all the benefits that would come with that in particular to my physique. The important thing is to know what you want to change.

Question Two – Ask ” Why are you not doing that thing now” – you are not doing it because……. “what is the because?” – “what is it that you are avoiding, what is the risk” – “what are you frightened of?” – For me it was stepping out of my comfort zone, doing things I didn’t like and giving up precious time to the challenge and importantly the fear of failure.

It is important to realise that we are all driven by Pain and Pleasure – we go Towards Pleasure and away from Pain. After all none of us are afraid of doing things we enjoy – I was not afraid of the gym – I was afraid of the emotions attached – failure, my self judgement – this is the emotional pain that you need to identify.

Question Three“What is the benefit you get by avoiding this pain?”  – what am I doing instead of doing this something. This is called a “secondary gain” and there will be one it could be just that you would be vegging in front of the TV or that you would be being a good mum, something that allows you to avoid the pain. For me I would have been working more at things I love – this making me feel worthwhile.

The truth is we often avoid short term pain for instant gain, but what this actually does is create more pain at a deeper more intense emotional level. Once you understand the above this and the above three steps it allows you the emotional energy and leverage you need to move forward.

Question Four“What are the costs to me of avoiding this behaviour, not changing this habit, not going for this challenge?” – For me it is the possibility of long term health issues and horrid self depreciating negativity over my physical appearance.

Once you understand the above and answered the 4 questions it shifts your emotional energy and gives you the power to move you forward.

Re-visiting this activity re-invigorated my emotional energy and was just the propulsion I needed.

This post was written by...

– Co-Founder and Creator of Binspired2.

Helen Denney-Stone, mentor, author and coach. She has studied and observed cognition and behavioural sciences for over a decade and is considered an expert on human behaviour and personal transformation. A specialist in entrepreneurial business, internet marketing and sales psychology, her expertise give an unbeatable blend of psychology and internet marketing.

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